1:04am

So here I am, at work again and it's 1:04am.  After having nearly consumed a litre of caffeine fuelled energy drink, I am what you may call slightly 'buzzing'!!  But, I need the caffeine to enable me to stay awake!!  I just hope that I don't one day suffer from the dreaded IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) that my dear mum suffers from.  This would then involve me having to go 'decaf' on everything-so I think my night job would then come to an end!!

When I first started my blog, I was full of inspiration about things I could 'blog' about etc etc, but the stream has run dry for the time being and I am fresh out of inspiration.  So for now, I am blogging the day to day stuff that is me, my life. Some may find this extremely boring, but at 1:09am - it is helping me to keep my eyelids from drooping and me nodding off with my head on kitchen table!

Maybe I should tell you a little more about me, but then it's always good to have a little air of mystery about yourself.  I guess having a pic of myself on my blog profile and a blurb about me sort of takes that mystery away though doesn't it. So I have completely contradicted myself.  Oh well!

Well I may as well write a bit about me then, that will make a few more minutes tick by on the clock.

1.  My actual name is Sarah-Louise, but everyone has always called me Sarah, except my lovely uncle Denis, who calls me by my full name.
2.  I'm 26 and am already seeing the signs of ageing on my face!
3.  I have 2 gorgeous boys who are my universe.
4. Today my fiance and I have been together for an amazing 8 years.  Trials and tribulations we may have had, but we've come out the other side smiling.
5.  I eat almost every food under the sun, even if I don't like it I'll eat it, just to be polite!  Although there is one exception to that- broad beans!! I detest them, they taste like rubber!!!!! (I don't generally eat rubber for a past time, but you catch my drift!?)
6. I am a happy size 12, I know that I will never be the size 8 I once was.  My body just isn't designed to be that size/shape anymore.
7.  I have just come to realise the importance of exercise and am now ritualistically jumping round like a complete tit for an hour a day on the Wii Fit!  I do shut the curtains though, to spare the neighbours from the sight of me doing this!  Although, maybe I should keep the curtains open and sell tickets!!
8.  I get immense joy from watching my boys grow and learn things everyday.
9.  I am ginger! And have endured many ears of ginger related taunts.  Not so much now I am an adult, but people do seem to have an issue with gingers and I really don't get it.  It's just a bloody hair colour! 
10.  I suffer from B.I.H. (benign intracranial hypertension).  Google it, I can't be bothered to explain it and bore you!


That's enough about me...

My little man turned two last week.  And I think he has now caught onto this fact and fully engaged himself in the role of being a terrible two  year old!  This morning he had a cup of milky tea and some toast.  I left the room for literally two minutes to turn the washing machine on and when I got back, he had tipped the rest of his cup of tea on the table and was slapping it with his hands and all in the toast.  The toast had turned to mush, the tele was covered in spots of tea, as was the wall, the curtains, the cupboard the carpet and the little man (or shall I say monster) himself!!
Next on his list of destruction was my basket of clean washing, he tipped it out so he could run around with the basket on his head!!  Highly amusing for him, not so amusing for me, mummy dearest.
Next was him having a gigantic stinking poo in his nappy and refusing to let me change it.  After 10 minutes he gave in and let me change him, but by then the whole of downstairs stunk to high heaven.
Now, my little man likes to try and be as independent as possible and if you try to help him when he doesn't want you to then God help you.  He will shout 'No!' and scream until you are cowering in a corner, best just to leave him to it!!
I don't want to give you the wrong impression, these things are just the average toddler being a monkey, but when you put them all together, it sounds like he is the demon child.  But he's mine and I love him to bits and wouldn't change him for the world.

I am going to sign off for now as my bladder is full to bursting.
Au revoir
xxx

Really not feeling it today

Today, I'm really not feeling it. Not in a rude sense, just that I am not having a good day.

I woke up with the headache from hell. I suffer from Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension (IIH). In short, it's an increase in the levels of fluid that surround your brain and ultimately cause pressure on your brain and optic nerves. I have had multiple lumber punctures, which aren't very pleasant and opted out of surgery as was too scared of the risks involved. So the only other option was to take a diuretic everyday to try and disperse the fluid. Things were working well, but my partner and I wanted to start trying for another baby. My Neurologist told me to switch to another diuretic as the one I was on would have dire consequences if I were to have a baby. I was still concerned about taking any sort of tablet if I were to be trying for a baby/fall pregnant so spoke to my GP- I told her the other diuretic that my Neurologist recommended and she said there was still a chance that not very nice things could happen to a baby if I were to fall pregnant.

I asked my GP what I should do, as even if there were a 1% chance I could hurt my baby, then I would not take my tablet. If I were to fall pregnant and not be taking anything and give birth to a child that had something wrong with it, then that would be beyond my powers and I know that I would not have contributed to it. But, if I were to be taking a tablet and give birth to a child with something wrong with it, then I would never forgive my self, ever.

I was managing well, I weaned myself off of my diuretic as instructed by my GP, and eventually wasn't taking anything. I thought all was good, but I think I was fooling myself into some sort of sense of false security as I knew the pressure was building up again, as one of the symptoms is a constant whooshing noise that I get in my right ear. It started whooshing again, 24/7 and it is like having someone living in your ear constantly blowing down it. I then have trouble hearing people as the noise gets so loud!!

Then the headaches started again, really bad. So, ultimately my partner and I have come to realise that I cannot live without my diuretics and that we should not be trying for a baby. I am upset about this, but I just need to think about the two beautiful children that I do already have and that there are some people out there who are unfortunate not to have any.

My whole IIH thing started when I fell pregnant with my second son Joshua. One of the reasons for getting IIH is being overweight, but I have never been overweight. The Neurologist decided that I must have got this because of the giant surge of hormones my body got when I fell pregnant. So, to fall pregnant again whilst still having IIH, I don't think I would be able to cope with it.

I have had this for nearly 3 years now and had multiple stays in hospital. As there is a risk to my sight if the pressure builds up too much, I know I have to make the sensible decision and keep taking my tablets. I really don't want to have surgery to insert a shunt that would release the pressure.

This really is a silent condition that not many people know about, and at times you do feel like you are some sort of hypochondriac!! But, I assure you I'm not and anyone else out there who has this will know what I am talking about.

I am now dosed up on Tramadol, so my headache has eased slightly, but is still there in the background. I will ring my GP on Monday and see her and also arrange an appointment to see my Neurologist.

I feel better for getting my little rant over with. Will blog soon, and be more cheerful. :)
xxx